"DC Once Again Muder Capital, Mayor Brags"
"I'll admit, it's a little rough here," Williams said. "This city isn't for everyone. You gotta have street smarts to get by. You can't carry yourself like some tourist from Cowtown, USA. You gotta watch your back."
"Even so, it's still the best place on earth," Williams said. "I wouldn't live anywhere else. Washington has so much to offer: history, culture, entertainment. A few murders won't change that. They just bring those of us who live here a little closer together. You see, we look after our own here. We got one another covered."
I know this is just a parody, but still... wanna know why DC has such a bad crime rate? Because DC is a one-party (read Democrat) town. They could never elect a Giuliani or a Riordan (i.e. a Republican) who could shake things up in the police while ignoring the hordes of "community activists" who keep DC law enforcement on the shortest feasible leash for fear of the "institutional racism" of the DC police. No, instead they elect Twink Williams and his amazing do-nothing administration, or the epitome of all that is wrong with DC, Marion "Bitch Set Me Up" Barry. Meanwhile, gangs, drug pushers, and taggers turn 3/4 of the nation's capitol into an absolute crap-hole, and the only people with the resources to actually do something to stop this never-ending circle jerk (yes Adams-Morgan, Burleith, Georgetown, Cleveland Park, Tenleytown, and everyone on the west side of Rock Creek Park...THIS MEANS YOU!!!) do nothing.
Hey, you people get the government you deserve. At least in Maryland and Virginia, you can get a legal gun to protect yourself.
(Full Disclosure: I actually partied in the hotel room where Marion Barry was caught on tape snorting crack. I just hope the video bug had been removed.)
Posted by Thief at September 17, 2003 05:14 PM