Thief's Den

Bush Lied! Oh wait, I meant I lied....my bad....

Book Names Iraqi in Alleged '99 Bid to Buy Uranium

By Susan Schmidt
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, April 30, 2004; Page A16

It was Saddam Hussein's information minister, Mohammed Saeed Sahhaf, often referred to in the Western press as "Baghdad Bob," who approached an official of the African nation of Niger in 1999 to discuss trade -- an overture the official saw as a possible effort to buy uranium.

That's according to a new book Joseph C. Wilson IV, a former ambassador who was sent to Niger by the CIA in 2002 to investigate reports that Iraq had been trying to buy enriched "yellowcake" uranium. Wilson wrote that he did not learn the identity of the Iraqi official until this January, when he talked again with his Niger source.

"Mr. Joseph Wilson, please pick up the white apology phone."

Mullah Krekar's Got a Squeeze Box

Those Mullahs just have no sense of humor!

Muslim terrorist suspect loses temper after female comedian lifts him up
Associated Press
Apr. 30, 2004 07:00 AM

OSLO, Norway - The founder of suspected terror group Ansar al-Islam, normally cool under pressure, lost his temper when a female Muslim comedian jokingly lifted him off the ground before an audience.

Mullah Krekar, the former leader of a fundamentalist Islamic group of Kurds in northern Iraq, was participating in a debate over his new biography Tuesday evening. Krekar, a refugee in Norway since 1991, has become the country's highest profile Muslim after his repeated arrests, court cases, television appearances and now his book "My Own Words."

Comedian and women's rights activist Shabana Rehman - a well-known Muslim here as well - was in the audience for the debate and talked Krekar into allowing her to perform what she called a little test to see if he was a fundamentalist.

Pakistan-born Rehman walked onto the stage, grabbed the Mullah around the hips, and lifted him up.

"A man who can be carried by a woman can't be a fundamentalist," Rehman said to howls of laughter.

Nothing says loving like a suicide bomb from the oven! Heee-Heee!

Krekar, who comes across as calm and tolerant in public appearances, exploded with rage and grabbed the microphone.

"She does not have the right to touch me. She is showing contempt for me. I can't accept this," the Oslo newspaper Aftenposten quoted Krekar as saying.

Uhh....Mr. Krekar? I may be a dumb, dirty kufr, but it would seem that the proper response is to, uhhhh, I dunno....LAUGH?

The mullah threatened a lawsuit, and demanded that all the photographers in the hall erase any pictures of him being lifted. But the images were broadcast on television and published in newspapers.
Rehman said the point was to see his reaction.

"If he is as tolerant and relaxed as he presents himself, he didn't need to react so strongly," she told the newspaper. "One who is not a fanatic would have gone along with such a joke."

Ansar al-Islam is suspected by the United States of links to the al-Qaida network and for involvement in suicide bombings targeting U.S. and coalition forces in Iraq.

I mean, jeez. This guy's desperate to get a little bit of squeezy lovin', and he can't get any. So take a chill. Or else we all belt out with this:

Mullah's got a squeeze box he wears upon chest
And when Allah comes home, he never gets no rest
'Cause Mullah's playing all night and the music's all right
Mullah's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night

Well, the faithful don't eat and the kufr can't sleep
There's no escape from the music in the whole damn street
'Cause he's playing all night and the music's all right
Mullah's got a squeeze box, Allah never sleeps at night

He goes up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down
He's playing all night and the music's all right
Mullah's got a squeeze box, Allah never sleeps at night

Update: Heh.

Update: Public School Poohbah gets a "second chance."

An update on Rebecca Perry, the Alexandria, VA school superintendent who was arrested for drunk driving.

Apparently, the school board has decided to give her a "second chance."

Alexandria Panel Retains Schools Chief
Contract Is Cut; Alcohol Counseling Ordered
By S. Mitra Kalita
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, April 30, 2004; Page B01

The Alexandria School Board gave its support last night to Superintendent Rebecca L. Perry, voting 7 to 1 to stand behind her a week after she was charged with drunken driving.

"Ms. Perry's decision to drink and drive was a serious lapse in judgment. Serious consequences should follow," board Chairman Mark O. Wilkoff said. "At the same time, it is also clear that she has been a tremendous asset" to the city's schools.

The board placed several conditions on her continued employment -- including shortening her contract by a year, to end in June 2005, and requiring her to enroll in an alcohol counseling program. But her contract, worth $168,000 a year, can be renewed.

Perry, who did not attend the emergency meeting, the fourth since her arrest early last Friday and the first to be open to the public, issued a written statement accepting the conditions. The statement repeated the apology and the plea for forgiveness she made Tuesday.

"I deeply appreciate that the School Board has chosen to give me a second chance," she added. "I pledge to do whatever I can to share the lessons I have learned from this experience with our students and community."

Let's see how well she's learned the lesson the next time one of her students needs a "second chance."

Arab CNN, Meet Arab Fox News

Via Reuters AlertNet, this wonderful bit of news. Apparently, someone in State's Public Diplomacy shop and the Broadcasting Board of Governors thought that U.S. needed to have a way to get its message out to the Muslim world without relying on Al-Jazeera (The Arab CNN) and Al-Arabiya (The Arab MSNBC). (Apparently I'm in very good company.)

Meet Al-Hurra... The Arab Fox News Channel. Fair and Balanced. We Report, The People Decide. (And we all know what happened whenFox News took on CNN, right?)

And confound it all, it's working. Arabs are watching. And they are starting to trust it.

That muffled clunking sound you just heard was the Islamofascists shitting bricks.

This is just SO COOL, I'm gonna post the entire article in the extended entry.

BTW: Al-Hurra means "the Free One."

Inshallah.

Via LGF.

Arabs are watching US TV channel Alhurra -survey

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WASHINGTON, April 29 (Reuters) - The controversial U.S. Arabic-language TV channel Alhurra is winning viewers as a news source in the Arab world despite rising anti-American attitudes in the region, according to a U.S.-financed poll released on Thursday.

The telephone survey of 3,588 people aged 15 or older in 13 cities was done by the French research company Ipsos-Stat in early April for the the Broadcasting Board of Governors, the independent federal agency that oversees all U.S. international nonmilitary broadcasting.

The results showed Alhurra -- in its first two months -- is being watched by an average 29 percent of the satellite-equipped households in seven countries, including a high of 44 percent in Kuwait and a low of 18 percent in Egypt.

The survey also found that an average 53 percent of the viewers consider the channel programming to be reliable or somewhat reliable. This includes a high of 70 percent reliability felt by Saudis and a low of 37 percent reliability among Syrians.

"I was very surprised by these numbers," considering all the negative press in the region saying no one is watching Alhurra and the fact that a religious "fatwa" edict was issued against the channel in Saudi Arabia, said Norman Pattiz of the Broadcasting Board of Governors.

"Within the first two months of broadcasting Alhurra has quickly established itself as a player among satellite stations in the Middle East," he told a news conference.

Some 40 percent of people in the Middle East have access to satellite television, Pattiz said.

Many Arab critics have argued that President George W. Bush launched Alhurra, the "Free One," as a propaganda tool to advance a war on Islam.

The Americans contend the TV channel is needed to compete for the hearts and minds of Muslims against pan-Arabic stations Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabiya, which U.S. officials charge often distort U.S. policy and are hostile to it.

Pattiz said the survey numbers for Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabiya are much higher but still the results for Alhurra are "great indicators."

"Our product is credibility in news and information. If we don't have that, we're dead in the water," he said.

The station operates 24 hours a day every day and aims to "present U.S. policies accurately and credibly" through full discussions representing a variety of viewpoints, he added.

Pattiz said Alhurra and the U.S.-funded Radio Sawa, which also operates in the Middle East, still have hurdles to overcome in winning viewers and listeners.

But experience is proving that "if you give them an example of product that is balanced and that clearly tells all sides of the issues ... then they will come, and they have," he said.

The Alhurra survey was conducted in Beirut, Lebanon; Damascus and Aleppo in Syria; Abu Dhabi and Dubai in the United Arab Emirates; Cairo and Alexandria in Egypt; Kuwait City; Amman, Irbid and Zarqa in Jordan; and Riyadh and Jeddah in Saudi Arabia.

OBEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come with me, friends, as we peer deep into the mind of a high-ranking leader of party of "Tolerance," Hillary Clinton.

"You don't have to fall in love," Hillary Rodham Clinton reportedly reproved a top Democratic fundraiser who was recently moaning about Kerry's lackluster performance as a candidate. "You just have to fall in line."

In other words....

Obey.
OBEY.
OBEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hat tip: Ace-O-Spades and Allah.

Public School Poohbah gets taste of her own medicine.

I was going to post this here, but I thought Zero Intelligence would be a better place for it.

School Board to Weigh Perry's Fate
Superintendent's Position Uncertain After DWI Charge
By S. Mitra Kalita
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, April 29, 2004; 3:58 PM

The Alexandria School Board votes tonight on whether Superintendent Rebecca L. Perry, arrested last week on charges of drunken driving, should keep her job.
Over the last week, the board held about 10 hours of closed-door fact-finding meetings into Perry's arrest. Board members and school officials say their meetings have been closed because Perry's tenure is a personnel matter. Perry was placed on a week's paid leave after her arrest.

To top it all off, WaPo's Metro Columnist Marc Fisher hits it out of the park.

I agree with members of the Alexandria School Board who admire Perry for her forthright admission of wrongdoing. Forgiveness is indeed a beautiful lesson to teach.
But: I also know that if a student at the schools Perry oversees were caught disobeying the system's rules about drinking alcohol, there would be no statements from the School Board chairman about a "healing process." No tearful confession would slow or halt the machinery of punishment.
No, there would be harsh and quick action, backed up with stern reminders about the rules, about zero tolerance, about suspensions and expulsions.
Zero tolerance undermines trust and teaches entirely the wrong lessons: That intent doesn't matter, that people in authority must not be allowed to exercise judgment.
...What should Alexandria's School Board do with Superintendent Perry? In the real world, people of good judgment should be able to consider a miscreant's past and her performance and decide what's best for her and for the institution. (Actually, in the real world, we are bizarrely torn between redemption, which we routinely offer to celebrities, sports figures and even politicians, and retribution, which we increasingly exact from plagiarists, editors and corporate executives.)
Ideally, School Board members would look at Perry -- in a public meeting, not in the secret sessions it has held so far -- and decide whether her talents more than make up for this mistake, in which case they would keep her. Then, having thought this through, they would start rolling back the trend toward unthinking, undiscerning approaches to student discipline.
But in a system that does not trust itself to make judgments about individuals, in schools that cede their moral authority to lawyers and codes and simplistic bromides such as zero tolerance, the verdict on Perry must be the same as it would be for the children whose suspensions she manages when she's sober:

Show her the door.

Well, maybe the people of Alexandria should let Ms. Perry have her job back, after a stern lecture, of course. Then, perhaps we'll have at least one public school administrator who will dissent from the Zero-Tolerance orthodoxy, having been on its receiving end before.

The Prelude: Carnival of the Vanities #85

[Music: Final Fantasy - The Prelude]

John Kerry Sleeps With The Fishes...

...or at the very least, has them shill for his campaign.

From Brian Noggle, who gets a coveted (well, not really) place on the Evil Black Mage Blogroll, based on his uncanny resemblance to the C-SPAN Bump announcer.

Hmmm....Brian J...... Frank J......coincidence?

Why (Some) Iraqis Hate Us

Via LGF, this bit of addled thinking:

MADRID, Spain (Reuters) - Spain will ask anti-war allies Germany and France to join in a proposal calling for a U.S. exit from Iraq and a new international presence in the country, a Spanish government source said Tuesday.

“The idea is to see if Spain, France and Germany can help the United States find an exit from Iraq...and devise a formula for an international presence there that would not be perceived as an occupation by most of the population,” the source said.

Let us presume, for the sake of argument, that Mr. Zapatero is correct in believing that the real problem in Iraq is that the occupation has an American face.

If this is true, then why was U.N. headquarters blown up back in August? If the insurgents wanted the U.S. out, then why attack a group of people who were, at the time, bending over backwards to be the exact, diametric opposite of the U.S. occupation authority? Hell, not only was Sergio Viera de Mello (RIP) trying to force Bremer and the CPA into taking a back seat to the UN, but the UN refused to erect simple vehicle barriers similar to the ones surrounding the U.S. Green Zone (which would have stopped the truck bomb) around its headquarters and retained the same security guards it had during the UNSCOM years because it wanted to appear more "open" to the average Iraqi people.

And if the U.S. is the problem, then why have Japanese and Chinese in Iraq been taken hostage? Why was Italian security guard Fabrizio Quattrocchi executed on live TV? Why was the President of Bulgaria shot at? If it's all the America's fault, then why all these attacks on non-Americans?

Here's a clue for people lacking one. The insurgents (i.e. Moqtada al-Sadr, the Al-Qaeda sympathizers in Fallujah) are not mad at at the U.S. because the U.S. is in charge in Iraq.

The insurgents are mad at the U.S. because someone else besides THEM is in charge in Iraq. This fight is over power, pure and simple. We have it, and they want it. (This also does not preclude the possibility that these insurgencies could be running along the lines of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and form temporary alliances against the U.S. But I think it goes without saying what lies at the end of that path if we leave.) Even if the U.S. would turn over Iraq to this hypothetical international force, it would not change the fact that the insurgents would still want power, and they would want it enough to kill anyone who stands it their way, regardless of what national flag patch they wear.

And one other thing... consider the respective records of the U.S. and the "international community" (i.e. the UN) in nation-building. If the U.S. can't handle Iraq...then I don't think a bunch of Blue Helmets would have a snowball's chance in hell.

UPDATE: Mohammed from Iraq, The Model agrees:

When I heard about the decision of the coalition to get UN involved the in the process of authority handover, I grew really restless, and what made me more worried is that ‘all parts’ seem to agree on this; the coalition, the UN the GC and the whole world. Now wait a minute! Is that the same useless, half corrupted organization that supported Saddam, and still support his likes in the name of preserving the international wall? Is that the same organization that left Iraq and the Iraqi people after the 1st terrorist attack? I hope they are speaking of something other than that. Some people would say that this is what the Iraqi people want, but this (if it’s ever true) is not the question.

"It's alright, we know where you've been..."

So I'm listening to Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine," and I see this...

Being a parent will be a little easier in LEGOLAND during this season, as the park is launching an electronic Kidspotter service in cooperation with the Tryg insurance company. Available for rent in the Information Office, a Kidspotter ensures that parents can always find their children whenever necessary. On entering the park, the wristband is placed on the child's arm. If parents lose sight of their child, they can send an SMS message to the Kidspotter system during their entire visit. They will then automatically receive a return message stating the name of the park area and the map coordinate of their child's position in the park. On their special Kidspotter map of the park, parents can easily see where to find their child. The Kidspotter kit consists of a small wristband with a tiny sender, plus a special Kidspotter map of the park.

Sheesh. The way parents are nowadays, they'll probably start getting these chips permanently implanted in their young'uns in a few years. And more than likely will leave them in there permanently.

Resistance is futile, kiddies.

Welcome my son
Welcome...to the Machine
Where have you been?
It's alright, we know where you've been...

Worst College Housing...EVER

NYU student sleeps for months in library basement

NEW YORK (AP) -- A college student who says he spent eight months sleeping in a library basement because he couldn't afford campus housing has been relocated to a free dormitory room, New York University officials said.

Sophomore Steve Stanzak, 20, said he began spending six hours a night in the sub-basement of Bobst Library at the beginning of the academic year after he was unable to pay a $1,000 housing deposit. He slept on library chairs and carried vital belongings -- a laptop computer, books, clothes -- in his backpack.

University officials eventually discovered an online journal Stanzak kept about his experiences and relocated him to a free dorm room last Tuesday. [God, I should hope so! - Ed.]

Although he works four jobs and has several student loans, Stanzak said he received no financial assistance from his family and had only enough money to cover tuition, about $31,000 a year for full-time undergraduates.

Let me just say I've known people who walked away from college for less. Mr. Stanzak, you are an inspiration to college students everywhere. (Because no matter how bad any college student has ever had it, you've had it worse.)

Paging Mr. Andy Rooney...

The official morale survey from the front, done by sociologist Charles Moskos of Northwestern University. Pay attention, folks.

Subject: FW: OIF Survey report 31 March 2004

To: General John P. Abizaid, Central Command

From: Charles Moskos

Subject: Follow-Up Report on Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF)

This is a follow-up to the preliminary report on OIF dated 14 Dec 2003. Attached the tables of the OIF survey we conducted in December when in theater. The responses of our soldiers are much more positive than those usually reported in the media. Some highlights are given below.

1. The morale of the soldiers was higher than anticipated. In fact, junior enlisted and NCOs report almost identical morale as their WWII counterparts (table #17)! Not the officers though.

2. The survey data reinforce the interview data given in the preliminary report. Namely, reserve components had markedly lower morale than the active duty, BUT, the survey data show that RC lower morale is mainly due to the perception they are treated as second-class members of the Army (tables #3, #7, #8, #9), NOT with the mission itself (tables #1 and #2). This, in a sense, is good news because the problem is fixable. A listing of RC perceptions were covered in the preliminary report.

3. Compared to surveys conducted in earlier deployments in Haiti, Bosnia and Kosovo, the OIF soldiers are more optimistic about what their mission will accomplish (table #15).

4. A significant percentage report that OIF had made them more religious and regularly attended religious services. The role of the chaplaincy is central to troop morale and one that ought be supported further (table #12).

5. An open-ended question asked for the most difficult thing of the mission (table #20). Leading complaints were separation from family and climate; no big surprises there.

Bottom line, morale does not suck in Iraq.

Mr. Andy Rooney, please pick up the white apology phone.

Via Blackfive, who has the whole report.

The Female Of The Species Is More Deadly Than The Male

All Hail Rosemary, The Queen Of All Evil!

I think I know what Kipling would say...

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

I see England, I see France...

"Ladies and gentlemen, we must take action to combat this nation's....er, crack epidemic."

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Job....real work....no time for blogging........Foreign Service exam this weekend............just made a Monty Python joke for some reason...

Guess this is the best I can do until Saturday, at least. Along with update the site and blogroll (Yes, Matt, I'm getting to it!)

In the meantime, enjoy the quiz.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Air Force Humor (True Story)

Frank J. at IMAO is soliciting military stories (either first- or second-hand). Well, here's a second-hand one from my Pappy ThiefDad's era, waaaaay back in the snows of Kunsan AB, Korea, in 1974...

(Disclaimer: I am nowhere near a military person, and all the details of this story are from memory. So if I get a detail wrong, I apologize in advance.)

My dad was a WSO in F-4 Phantoms (otherwise known generically as a GIB - Guy In Back.). Every once in a while the flight crews would have to be tested on their knowledge of emergency procedures, e.g. engine fires, power failures, all the many things that can go wrong when you are strapped into a big hunk of metal carrying 20,000 pounds of fuel. The officer in charge of this testing, however, was a Major Hardass (since I never found out the guy's name, that's what I'll call him).

Maj. Hardass lived up to his name, and during one of the tests, he marked down the test of one of my dad's squadron mates. The test question itself was pretty simple: What do you do if your front tire blows out on takeoff?

My dad's friend answered this question perfectly (IIRC, throttle down and deploy drag chute). Maj. Hardass, however, marked his answer wrong. Why? The I's in the answer were not dotted. My dad and friends all thought this was a very chickenshit thing to do ("Son, back in those days it was all chickenshit." -- ThiefDad) but then again, Maj. Hardass was in charge and they weren't.

And the matter would have rested there, but for the fact that barely a week later, Maj. Hardass's front tire blew out on takeoff. In his confusion and panic, the good Major forgot to deploy his drag chute, and his Phantom ended up skidding off the end of the runway. Thus, the joke went around the squadron that Maj. Hardass didn't remember it because he was too busy dotting his i's. Maj. Hardass did not appreciate this humor, and did what he did best...make life unpleasant for the entire squadron.

So, in order to cut the Major down to size, my dad and a few of his close friends concocted a plan. On their next leave in Seoul, they went to a sex shop and bought a rather large and realistic looking dildo. They smuggled said dildo back onto base, went to the base machine shop after hours, and stood guard while my dad hollowed it out on a drill press ("I still laugh a little every time I use a drill press now." -- ThiefDad). Finally, they snuck into the cockpit of Maj. Hardass' Phantom, and placed the hollowed-out dildo over the drag chute handle, leaving behind the following typewritten note:

"Dear Major: Next time your front tire blows out on takeoff, just reach for something familiar."

Of course, Maj. Hardass was pissed...but he never marked down a test on punctuation grounds ever again.

And no, he never found out who did it. ;)

Expected...sort of....

A while ago, I said about the Massachusetts Supreme Judical Court Ruling mandating gay marriage in the Bay State...

Let me predict the next steps in the process. 1. Same-sex marriage becomes law in Massachusetts at the business end of a gavel. 2. Two gay non-residents get married in MA, return to their home state, and then sue their home state to require recognition of their marriage under the "full faith and credit clause." Home state balks, invoking the Defense of Marriage Act. 3. Gay couple goes to federal court seeking a) to have DOMA declared unconstitutional under "full faith and credit clause," or b) to have bans on gay marriage thrown out under the Equal Protection clause (citing Lawrence v. Texas with great ebullience). In both cases, the district and/or circuit courts, being courts, say OK (I can't imagine this not happening.) 4. Supreme Court a) strikes down DOMA and allows-gay marriage to happen state-by-state, or b) declared bans on gay-marriage unconstitutional on an equal protection basis. Not a single legislative act, executive order, or popular vote required. Isn't judicial activism fun? (And isn't this why a federal marriage amendment is sounding more and more like a good idea every day? )

It seems like step 2b is taking place. In...an Alabama Prison? WTF?

Male inmates sue state seeking same-sex marriage behind bars

By PHILLIP RAWLS
Associated Press Writer
Two male inmates at Fountain prison near Atmore have sued the state in hopes of getting married, despite a prohibition in state law and no precedent for a married couple behind bars.
"We certainly wouldn't condone this type of marriage," prison spokesman Brian Corbett said Monday.
The inmates, Daruis Chambers and Jonathan Jones, acted as their own attorney in the suit. They argue that the state law banning same-sex marriages violates their constitutional rights of due process and free speech.
"This court must not allow the alleged sexual morals of a society filled with bias to be the scales of balance," they wrote in their five-page lawsuit.

Wow. Alabama prisons must suck.

Out, Out, Damn Spam!

Found this in the comment bin:

"But it was the talk of Sir Wade, especially when in his phentermine online, which chiefly favored his friends to deem him unrecognizable. It drawled to be an time-consuming ape of bachelor-type fioricet, side-stepped, perhaps, from some grief-stricken menagerie. Sometimes I gazed that this less material life is our handier life, and that our selective presence on the barrel-vaulted globe is itself the secondary or merely ontological phenomenon. This sound in such a locality naturally thrashed us, though less than it would have done at night. He was a victim of moire and necromantic suffering, as was one-half"

I suppose if you broke up the lines right it would be pretty close to iambic pentameter. Guess I'm attracting Shakespearean spammers. God, that almost sounds like a Monty Python sketch...

To spam, or not to spam, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to send
The mails and comments of outrageous man-size;
Or to take arms against a sea of bounced messages,
And by opposing, end them: to piss off AOL
Big Time; and by a sleep, to teminate
Our account, and the thousand natural aliases
That our account is linked to; 'Tis a consumation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To sell to annoy,
To annoy, perchance to get kicked; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that mound, what schemes may come,
When we have phished around this mortal coil
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the lawyerly threats of jail time,
The oppressor's wrong, the Anti-SPAM Acts
The pangs of dispriz'd viagra, the law's delay
The insolence of Congress, and the spurns
That patient merit of free teen sex takes,
When he himself might his manhood make larger
With a bare Ab-flex? Who would camwhores bear
To grunt and sweat under a weary life --
But that the dread of something after p0rn,
The undiscovered mailbot, from whose bourn
No address remov'd, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear the spam we have,
Than order from others that we know not of.
Thus the 'net doth make cowards of us all,
And thus the monitor resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of junk,
And enterprises of great sales pitch and moment,
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of "Click Here."

Oh well. Into the trash heap with thee!